Super Sweetie to the Rescue!

Okay. Now I'm getting really annoyed.

It's not that I want Sweetie to feel bad. I'd just like for her to tell me if she does. And when she looks sickly, and acts tired, whiney and otherwise unlike herself, but still says she's "great" when asked - in an annoyed, exasperated, "leave me alone, Mom!" kind of way, no less - well, I get annoyed and exasperated too.

It's like I have to find different ways to word my inquiries and tiptoe around the obvious.

Not that I'm constantly asking her, mind you. I know it may seem like that, since I seem obsessed with her responses. Like I said, I don't wish for her to feel bad. I just wish she'd be upfront and honest about how she is feeling when it's apparent to me she's not feeling her very best.

Last night at dinner, Sweetie asked if she could not finish her meal. A meal she's typically loved in the past. We allowed it, but wanted to know why. Was she already full? Was it too much of the same thing? Did it make her tummy hurt? No! She didn't know... Yeah, she guessed she was just full.

Then she commenced with lying down on the floor, with a pillow and blanket. Hmmm.... Okay, I could see if she was cold. But the lying down too? Not typical.

A bit later she and I were in the kitchen so I could give her her evening dose of probiotic powder. Out of the blue, she says, "I think it was the cheese at dinner."

What's that? An admittance? Someone's not feeling so good?

Yup. Sweetie admitted that she was feeling yucky, and she thought it was the (little bit) of cheese on her dinner that did her in.

Maybe. At least she was letting me know what was going on with her. Kind of.

Then I had a talk with her. Like her Daddy and I have had a talk with her before. She needs to tell us how she's feeling. If we know, we can help her feel better. If we ask her how she is, fine - she can say she's great. But if we ask her how she feels, we want to know about aches, pains, tiredness, whatever. Furthermore, she needed to know that it is not a bad thing to feel bad. It is not a sign of weakness. It is okay to admit to being something other than great! Please! Help us help you!

I also realized that yesterday marked 4 weeks exactly since Sweetie started her antibiotics. And I remembered her doctor telling me that Sweetie is apt to experience the Herxheimer Reaction approximately once a month while she's on her meds. Hmmmm... it didn't seem to me like Sweetie Herxed when first starting her medicine. Yeah, she was a bit whiney/weepy/tired/not really herself a few days into it. But that's all.

The Herxheimer Reaction - as best I can describe it to my own understanding - is what happens to late stage Lyme Disease patients when they start on antibiotics. The antibiotics immediately start to work, killing off the Lyme bacteria. That bacteria's "killing off" creates toxins in the body - toxins that want to get out! Basically leaving the person feeling miserable for a day or so. The killing off brings all the hidden symptoms of Lyme that have been just hanging out in the body to the forefront, making the person sick.

And since Lyme regenerates itself every month or so, this killing off and resulting Herxing also happens every month or so.

Huh. Sweetie was now whiney/weepy/tired/not quite herself! And the night before too! Just like she was a month ago!

Voila! We've got Herxing - Sweetie style!

Realizing all this, we told Sweetie last night what Herxing is and what it means - that her medicine is working and killing the bad Lyme bacteria in her body.

"So it's actually good to feel bad! It's like your body is being a superhero now - getting rid of the bad guy!" (a great analogy for our Sweetie to relate to, as she used to play and imagine herself as Super (Sweetie) all the time when she was younger.)

In the end, I told Sweetie that if she still couldn't bring herself to admit with words when she feels bad, then she and I (and Daddy) are going to have to work out a secret code that gives us the information we need instead.

I think she's still considering what that code could be. But she does own her very own Super (Sweetie) cape. Perhaps she'll put that on when she's feeling bad as her sign of how things are for her.

Or maybe, like I said before, I need to rephrase how I'm asking things.

"Are you feeling like a superhero, Sweetie?"

Yeah. I thought so. Let me see how I can help you feel better...